So let me just preface with this. I do not steal things. Except for a potholder that "accidentally" fell into my cart when I was in 6th grade at the Sawgrass Mills outlet mall with my friend Melanie D. at Bed Bath and Beyond(it DID fall into the cart, but then I didn't remove it, because the guilt felt good)I've pretty much kept a clean rap. Well.
Let me take you back to last week, when I walked into the clinical pathology central receiving office. The purpose of this office is to tell you when you have submitted a sample wrong. Then make you feel like a moron because you didn't remember that one sample has 2 copies of a paper with it, and you had better remember to put it in the right bin, or it's like you've personally injected them with the needle you left on the syringe instead of a stupid black rubber cap when you turned in a urinalysis.(No? Just me? Ok then.)
I walked into the office to ask a question about some random sample testing for a random disease 12 people have written a paper on. In my hand was a pen. A free pen. A pen that arrived in mass quantities the previous Friday delivered by a company, along with dozens of Krispy Kreme donuts(of which I ate 3, but that's neither here nor there people). The lady in the office asked, "Where did you get that pen?".
Me: ICU, there are a bunch of them in there.
Her: Well I had a pen like that on my desk, and now it's gone.
Me:Um...I have another one in my pocket...you can have one if you want?
Her:Ok(with look like I had admitted guilt)
Several minutes go by, and I walk by the door of this office on my way back to the other side of the hospital, and I hear her coworker exclaim " I BET SHE DID STEAL THAT PEN!".
WHAT? The mental me walked in there and declared my innocence, with a witty remark. The actual me walked away embarrassed, and saved my story for a friend 3 hours later. I must work with mental me. She's a tough biotch.